It will come as no surprise to any of you that, in prison, you spend a lot of time locked behind your cell door. It can be very easy to simply lie in bed all day, day dreaming or wallowing depending on your mood. I’ve done that more than ever over the past year. Sometimes with feelings of elation, where I can just kick back with a smile and think about the people I love, and then sometimes under the blackest of storm clouds where I wished I didn’t even have to wake up, let alone get up and deal with life.
There is one song which epitomises the way I feel in these dark times. ‘Imaginary’ by Evanescence really speaks to me in those moments.
In my field of paper flowers
and candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
and watch my purple sky fly over me.
Don’t say I’m out of touch
With this rampant chaos – your reality
I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge
The nightmare I built my own world to escape.
Oh, and in my reality the “alarm clock screaming monsters calling my name” are invariably the screws.