The Underwear Wars

A few weeks back I placed an order for some new clothes. When staff processed my order they sent a note back to me saying that my order had been approved but that I would have to swap some of my in possession clothing for the new stuff because I will have too much according to their volumetric control limits. Of course, I wanted to check this out for myself so I asked the library for a copy of the facilities list setting out how many of each item we are allowed to have and I came across something truly bizarre.

Item 19 on the facilities list is Underwear, which your can have as many as you want of, as long as all of your combined property fits into two standard prison issue storage boxes. However, under the notes attached to Underwear it sets out the limits on the type of underwear allowed.

It says “Not to cause offence or rivalry. Must not cause difficulty in the maintenance of good order and discipline.”

What kind of rivalry could underwear cause?! I can sort of imagine rivalry arising from how well you fill the underwear out, (this was a disturbingly common point of shower room conversation at one young offenders prison I used to be at), but what is rivalrous about underwear itself? And how on earth could it affect the maintenance of good order and discipline?

Any underwear that can, by its very nature, disturb good order and send others into rivalry and ill discipline is underwear I absolutely have to see! I just hope it doesn’t steal my sanity and send me into a berserk and uncontrollable state when I do. Whatever it is, it clearly affected the mind of the person writing this facilities list.

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7 thoughts on “The Underwear Wars

  1. Weirder and weirder! We had no choice- just horrible Y-Fronts with the Crown Property stamp on them.
    I don’t know if the Home Office uses eBay a lot but check this: I hate currently fashionable boxers and like briefs which I used to buy at a local clothes store that has now gone bust. I went on eBay and asked for *Mens Briefs XL*. The cheapest for sale (or auction) were not new and had USED/UNWASHED (sic) prominently displayed in ad. I am not ashamed to say that, after some time, I figured this out and, to hell with my liberal sentiments, was suitably outraged. Not morally outraged but some outrage I didn’t know I had. As I scrolled down to escape from the skid mark sale, I encountered the Chinese *super sexy* briefs which you can look at yourself if you have access but I warn you, brother, clean living and pure thoughts are the gateway to happiness!

    • The Chinese briefs on eBay are extreme thong/poser styles. I had no idea my taste in briefs is on the conventional end of the spectrum
      My problem with boxers is more scrunching but sagging covers it.
      I hope you are well and doing the necessary.Take care.

      • Wow. I really didn’t realise there was so much politics around the subject of underwear. On the other hand, many prisoners here have had a good laugh recently at the fact that one of the approved suppliers we can order clothes from are selling men’s thongs. I wouldn’t choose to wear them myself, but I’m not sure it’s as hilarious as many seem to think. Or maybe I just don’t get the joke.

        • I know what sagging is although my mind boggles to imagine people walking the Wing or Yard like that but then my fashion upset the older generation or straights. Thongs are way beyond boggling. I was walking in Skye with some OZ women some years back when one to my absolute amazement said it was so hot she wished she’d worn her thongs. I don’t know what shape my face took but my mouth was wide open. When they saw my face, they said together that they call sandals thongs in OZ. We live and learn. To be honest I only got into the habit of wearing undies in HMP.
          Our thing was to get our trousers and blue striped shirts tailored with round collars very much In vogue.
          Quiet day tomorrow?

  2. Sagging is a manner of wearing trousers or jeans which sag so that the top of the trousers or jeans are significantly below the waist, sometimes revealing much of the underwear. Sagging is predominantly a male fashion.

  3. Haha i have to admit iv’e caused my significant other into distress with the underwear iv’e chosen to wear on visits…loving the photo adam..stay strong, were thinking bout you x

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