Last year the kitchens here at Wakefield switched from providing three hot meals a day to providing one hot meal with a cold meal at lunch. As a compromise they put an option on the lunch menu of a pack of instant noodles for those who wanted something warm to make with hot water.
Only recently did I realise that the noodles they are providing are not suitable for the diets the kitchen provide them for.
I find it baffling that a mug of pot noodle is considered a nutritious hot meal by HMP (or privatised version).
Yep-I had similar problems being a lifelong vegetarian but I thought this muppetry would be history by now. I had cheese pie every day for my whole time.
This is true: I found a fly in my tea and complained to the Kitchen CPO who informed me that flies are *pure protein*. When i responded that i was vegetarian he replied *f£$% off*.
That sounds a bit like the “woodlouse in the soup” joke.
You are absolutely right, it does sound like that old joke but, believe me, it happened the way I told it. In the day, veggies had to go to the kitchen to pick up a cheese pie before lining up for the other food. The Kitchen CPO was usually standing around there at dinner time.. So, I grabbed my opportunity. The thing is he wasn’t laughing, I thought it was hilarious.
There used to be a chalk board with the total of Cons inside on that day. One of the highlights of my day if the total went down. It is said *small things…
I will leave for another day the incident when the cafe owner insisted that pieces of pork in my wife’s stew were peas!
How about some real common sense: just don’t eat ’em.
You are absolutely correct too, stuff the pot noodles! He should send his man out to arrange a delivery of a veggie hamper from Harrods.
First, allow me to congratulate Adam on the new all singing all dancing blog. Clicking onto it for the first time was like the moment in the Wizard of Oz when the movie switches from black and white to colour. It ranks as no mean achievement for someone who had us all worried when he disappeared from view eight months ago, for not only has he proved to be the comeback kid but now finds himself in pole position, Alex being somewhat reduced by ill health and Ben a self-confessed media tart.
It is nice to see a little humour introduced into the blog; the storm in the noodle pot is wonderfully pythonesque.
‘Are these pot noodles vegetarian?’
‘Only one of them is, sir…’
‘I take it you are referring to the tomato one?’
‘Er, no, sir. The tomato pot noodles are not vegetarian.’
‘Then which the three is vegetarian?’
‘The chicken one, sir…’
But on a more serious note, I would caution Adam against ordering his food from Harrods, for it is common knowledge that the staff of upmarket establishments have been known to react in an unfortunate manner to any customer who upsets them. Thus, there would always be a risk that any vegetarian who was a little too pedantic could be blessed with a substantial increase in the traces of animal products in the dishes provided – though the good news would be that the likelihood of any animal actually being killed in the process would be small: the substances in question being undoubtedly human in origin.
…or Fortnum + Mason.